Hello, you have reached the Fidelity Sperm Bank Helpline. Your business is important to us. Please hold for the next available customer service rep

 

Let's face it: there are moments when you just can't get to the phone. (sound of toilet flushing)

 

I'm not around right now. Please leave a message at the tone. OH, YEAH! and if you are that scary bondage boy I f*cked the other night,Leave me alone! That sh*t hurts![beep]

 

m: You've reached XXX-XXXX, we're not home right now so...
s: Matt! We are too home!
m: But we may not be when someone calls...
s: Are we going somewhere?
m: We might.
s: So who's gonna answer the phone?
m: How about Mizar?
s: MIZAR! Here kitty!
m: Okay Mizar, when the phone rings, jump on on the table and hit this button right here...

 

Hello you've reached Danielle and Eminem's apartment. If this is Em, get home now! And if this is Danielle... whoa this is weird...

 

Hi. I'm not homo right now. I won't be homo later. In fact, I'm not planning on ever being homo. But I will be back later so leave your name, [etc....]

 

(Rap beat in background)Eminem and Danielle are not at home Or maybe they just can't come to the phone leave your name when you hear the tone If you're calling at night, we're prob'ly asleep,So please leave a message after the beep,After the beep, word,Please leave a message after the beep.

 

Hey this is danielle,leave a message n 1 reason y eminem is the best ever after the beep n ill call u back

 

hey this is danielle tell me 1 reason u love me n ill call u back